As the plane ascended i looked below....this was not the first time i have felt this way or seen this sight. many thoughts and emotions ran through my blood as i knew i have reached the no-turning-back point of my one of many juvenile decisions.
Life brings an abundance of trials and tribulations our way making our decisions often swift and thoughtless. Are these choices meant to be or are they by chance. If we could go back and change one decision, imagine how many things we would lose or gain. Life moves on this way and I constantly ask myself what i would change.
There is not much i would change besides the decisions i made my senior year to slow down the college rush. The finacial struggles and constant instability drives me crazy. But somehow deep down i find myself saying it will get better. In some ways it will and someways it will still be hard work and sacrifice of luxuries. I thank god every day for my beautiful fiance who made all the right decisions in life to get on the right track and who helped me progress into a more financially laid back man. She attends college with the goal of becoming a teacher and she is almost finished with her classes. I on the other hand wake up and five thirty every morning and do hard physical work all day dealing with retarded employees and their problems.
"We have turned off the fasten seat belt sign and you are now free to move about the cabin. Beverages will be around shortly." At this point i was now asking myself what lies ahead, and not the past. If i had not made this decision i would not have the things i have today which i have never bought for myself to call my own before. I would never have met my future wife without stepping on this plane, and to me that is more important than anything.
"What can i get you to drink?"
"Pepsi please, just the can is fine. Thank you."
The plane is surrounded by clouds and i hate the trembling plane as we hit 'airpockets'. I know I dearly love all my parents and I thank them for everything they have done and provided. To move so far away from both of them felt wierd at first, but then i think of my father who lives in Washington 2,500 miles away from all his family because of his wife. But i do not blame my dad for that choice because i would make the same choice for my fiance even though it makes my mothers heart ache to be away from me. Life is full of those kinds of feelings. And on the contrary the good outweighs the bad in my life.
"Attendants please prepare for landing". Moving forward ready for what is to come.
At this current point in my life i have all i ever need and would not complain if i never had anything more. I have my own place, my own bills (which i am happy to pay because of the services they provide), a vehicle, a new 4wheeler, an absolutely beautiful fiance, and loving friends and family surrounding me. I look at all i have had in the past and it means nothing when i look at my position now. I observe my friends and family and they have money and very nice cars and things they lease and finance and i am glad to have what little if any debt i have.
My ambitions for the future are as simple as somehow between Myself and my wife to provide everything for our children (many years from now) everything they need and to provide them with a bright future. What i have then will not matter to me as much as my family. If i had to sell my vehicle, toys, or work another job to provide the best for them, i will without any regard for myself.
These thoughts seem blurry and my own future slim, but my future family is number one and i will work as hard as i need to to fulfill my lifelong commitment.
Chatboard (0)